Philosophy                Relative Comparison          11 September 2023


   Following up on my previous note, I'd like to make a few important
   additions.  Our sense of happiness is strongly influenced by what is
   known as "relative comparison": this occurs when we feel uneasy about
   the gap between what we already have and the desired level we wish
   to attain.

   Moreover, our sense of happiness is also affected by our prior
   expectations: for instance, if we have had a very enjoyable vacation,
   it's likely that in the future we will measure our happiness against
   that previous successful experience, expecting that, at a minimum, we
   will once again have a similar experience and the same emotions.
   Generally speaking, we want our current situation to be as good
   as our previous positive experience.

   In such cases, to alleviate constant frustration and cognitive
   dissonance caused by the mismatch between our expectations
   and reality, it's sufficient to reasonably lower our expectations
   of the current moment and life in general.  Obviously, this must be
   approached with full seriousness, as excessive lowering
   of expectations can lead to unhappiness.

   Lowering expectations allows us to break free from the chains
   of "deferred life syndrome," as learning to be content with little,
   but present, things - in the current moment - gives us
   the opportunity to let go of grand expectations that reside somewhere
   in a distant future that will never come; after all, the future
   doesn't exist, it's merely a figment of our imagination.  We gain
   the opportunity to be content with what we have, rather than what we
   wish to have.

   As Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius said,


             "No man is happy until he thinks himself so."


   Indeed, expecting that we'll only be happy when we "reach some goal"
   or "attain a certain moment" deprives us of the opportunity
   to consider ourselves happy right now, as we will inevitably expect
   happiness to come only after certain life conditions are met.  And we
   will never be happy in such a case.

   However, reasoning itself and, in principle, any philosophy are
   worthless if a person does not make conscious efforts to apply
   the acquired knowledge to their own life.  Personally, I believe that
   one cannot become happy; one can only be happy, and be so right now:
   after all, we only have control over the current moment, and we have
   no influence over the future, which is entirely beyond our control.

   From this follows that to achieve happiness, it is enough to have
   the desire to be happy (surprise!) and then allow oneself
   to experience aesthetic pleasure in the context of one's own life:
   to find beauty in all manifestations of the current moment
   and everything that surrounds us right now.  We should constantly ask
   ourselves where we are, and if the answer is "the future"
   or "the past," one must make conscious attempts to return
   to the present - the only destination where happiness is possible.





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